Article - 3rd Tenet of the Code: Respect Confidentiality

Third Tenet of the Code: Respect Confidentiality

First, some definitions are in order:

Confidential:

Indicating confidence or intimacy

Respect:

To hold in esteem or honor

Also, let’s be clear on what this tenet does NOT say:

It does NOT say, “Enforce confidentiality,” but rather honor it.
It does NOT ask that we keep secrets or remain secretive.

In our circles we often say, “You are encouraged to take the lessons learned here and share them with the men and women in your life.” This tenet simply asks that men respect the intimacy created among men who come together for a common purpose.

An intimate circle provides an environment where men can feel safe; where they can let down their guard, be vulnerable and honor their truth. It’s a very powerful service a circle can provide for the men.

At the same time, the bond of intimacy is extremely delicate and can be shattered by a single thoughtless indiscretion. It’s like the flame on a candle. When guarded and sheltered from wind, it can burn bright and light a room. But the flame is easily extinguished in that moment when our guard is dropped.

The men must remember that their job with their men is to listen. There is a deep power a man can access each time he draws a line and stops his mouth just when he was about to run it, making a conscious decision to honor the sanctity of a sacred space.

The best way to ensure that each man present respects the space is to ask that everyone agree to hold what they see and hear as confidential.